Wednesday 14 October 2015

A Flat Start to the New Year

Hello.  Thank you for bearing with me, I have been neglecting my blog.  Actually, I have spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I have read and appreciated your comments, but I just haven't been able to write anything.  It's all felt very odd.

Like many people whose lives are determined by the rhythm of academic terms, September usually means New Year - for children there are new shoes, new bags, new teachers and sometimes new schools.  For adults there are new routines and often new adventures and new horizons as children grow older and become less dependent.  I have always liked September, partly because of these new possibilities, partly because I like the return to routine after the sprawling school summer holidays and partly because it opens the gate to Christmas (I have printed that word in a tiny font because really, it's far to early to talk about it!), and I do really love Christmas.  September also brings Autumn, which is my favourite season. 
This year, however, felt different and I am not really sure why.  Perhaps it's because the summer was so disappointing: the weather was warm but, apart from about three days in July, not hot and it rained a lot, almost every weekend, I think.  I had hoped for some camping trips - there are so many destinations on my wishlist - but apart from a weekend in July and our folk festival trip, we didn't go anywhere because the weather was too poor for short trips.  We did have two wonderful long weekends away at short notice, but four lovely weekends do not a summer make.  So at the end of our seven week school break (seven weeks! ) I felt very unsatisfied and not really ready to move on. 

Or perhaps it's because the Best Beloved doesn't have enough work at the moment and I am very anxious about how we will manage the winter expenses.  Or perhaps it's because I slowly realised that a relationship which I thought was a personal friendship is actually merely a professional friendship, and I am mourning the perceived loss of that imagined personal friendship.

So, September came and brought with it the sunshine we missed in July and August, but my spirits were low.  Here is the hawthorn tree outside my bedroom window, laden with haws beneath a blue sky.



For the last few years I have cycled around the parish foraging for blackberries, crab apples and elderberries to turn into jewel-coloured jars of hedgerow jelly, but this year I had no heart for it (for which I heartily apologise to The Beau, who is very keen on it - I am afraid you are on the last of last year's jars and the cupboard its bare).  Nor will there be any blackberry vodka to sip on Christmas Eve this year.  We celebrated the equinox on 23rd September with a proper pudding: it had to be apple really, it could have been plum but the Best Beloved doesn't like plums so it really did have to be apple, especially as I was given a bagful of them from the curate's garden, and I turned to Delia for her baked apple and almond pudding which is delicious hot or cold (I served it hot with a dollop of thick cream). 



Yummy, and extra good for being naughtily eaten during the week!  I thought that it might be a turning point as I really wanted to show you at the time, but I just couldn't do it.  And even though I was unexpectedly offered a new job and am now earning Real Money (a very small amount) for the first time in almost three years, I couldn't drag myself out of the slump, not even to write my monthly family history post, and I usually love writing those.

Then the Sunday before last I was reading the Observer Magazine and I saw a Waitrose advertisement which read "Autumn.  Britain's warmest season" and something just clicked in my head.  I had found a way to write!  I do LOVE autumn for its warmth, its colour and its fruitfulness: the rich reds, oranges, yellows and burgundies of the leaves on the deciduous trees and shrubs, the acorns, beech mast and conkers which ripen and drop from the trees, the fungi which spring up from the damp earth.  I love lighting tealights along the mantelpiece as night falls and later on, when it's cold, we shall light the fire.  We have so far enjoyed blue skies and warm sun - the Best Beloved and I went for a walk that Sunday afternoon in short sleeves, in October!  Dragonflies and butterflies danced around us and my spirit lifted itself up and joined in, gratefully.  The leaves are beginning to turn but this is only the starter, the main course is yet to come. 


And here, for no other reason than "just because", are a few pictures of our afternoon at Lilleshall Arboretum, which is lovely because (a) there are lots of trees and (b) it's free.








See you soon (I hope).

Love, Mrs Tiggywinkle x



































20 comments:

  1. Worry not about the blackberry vodka as I have damson gin on the go and there is plenty to share. I fondly remember our evening of candle making and drinking damson gin.

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    1. That was a lovely evening Myra and I look forward to another. x

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  2. Hope the brighter weather has lifted your spirits, the start of Autumn was certainly better(weather wise) than the Summer. When I am feeling a little down in the dumps I focus on what I have got rather than what I haven't it is amazing how quickly your mood lifts and you are thankful for all the positives in your life. Hope that helps and doesn't come across as a lecture, it wasn't meant to be. Take care.

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    1. It doesn't come across as a lecture, I know that it's well-meant and I appreciate it, it's helpful. Thank you. x

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  3. Love those gardens! Hope you have a wonderful fall!

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    1. Thank you Linda. The gardens are beautiful and I'm hoping to revisit them in a week or so when they should be even more glorious. x

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  4. I hope that all will be well for your husband workwise and that you will enjoy your new job and that it will help your financial situation out. As for your "friend" I am sorry that things have turned out this way for you. It is so very sad, you can know that you are a true friend to your friends though, but I am sorry that your heart has been hurt in this way. I am sure that someone as lovely as you has many other friends, I do hope so. xx

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  5. Lovely pictures...the autumn is really beautiful!
    Have a great week!
    Titti

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  6. I've been to Lilleshall Abbey a couple of times but didn't know about the arboretum it looks lovely. I'm so sorry you have had a flat start to the new season having worries about jobs and finances doesn't help and I hope things will improve for you soon, I know just how you feel about not being able to write, I've started three different posts over the last couple of weeks and neither finished or published them as I somehow just could seem to make them interesting. Despite feeling low I have been able to appreciate the wonderful colours around at the moment as it is a lovely time of year, I hope you continue to feel that too. Take care:)

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    1. Thank you Rosie. I am trying hard. The arboretum is at the National Sports Centre and was originally planted for the Duke of Sutherland. I hope you have had a good weekend - keep writing, I look forward to your posts. x

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  7. Lovely photos... this 'Indian summer' has been a real bonus. All the best, Jx

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    1. Thank you Jan. I agree, it has been a bonus. x

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  8. So pleased to hear from you. Maybe inspiration will dawn now you're settled back into the routine of school again. Hopefully the Autumn colours will last a bit longer and it must be nearly half term, perhaps you can have a break then. x

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    1. Thank you Karen. The colours are lovely now, we have been out enjoying them again today. x

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  9. Just remember you are not the only one. I always feel a bit flat once the new term starts (especially this one as it is the last one with my kids being in school) but as soon as I see those leaves turning on the trees and the 'wrapped up' walks with a flask in my hand, my mood lifts. I make people laugh with my SAD syndrome (Summer Absolute Detest) as summer bores me - autumn inspires me and I am so glad your mood is now lifting. I do hope the family worries with the jobs and preparation for "C" work out xx

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    1. Thank you Chel, you are kind. This week has been tough again but we have been out again today to marvel at the glorious colours, so that picked me up a bit. x

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  10. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I, too, am struggling with the "blahs". I am looking for a routine, yet trying to get out of a rut (that doesn't make much sense, does it??) While I don't have any sage words of wisdom, I hope things are starting to look up for you! Happy Fall :)

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    1. Thank you Deb. It doesn't make sense but I know exactly what you mean! x

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