Hello, thank you for dropping in. I fully intended to be here a couple of weeks ago but sometimes real life gets in the way of good intentions, doesn't it? I had to provide some unexpected child care (which is always delightful, if tiring), we've been waiting around for a couple of days as we had to self-isolate when someone in our childcare bubble had to have a Covid test (which, fortunately, was negative) and we have had some technical problems. The Best Beloved thinks he has sorted out these problems but if I disappear halfway through this post, you'll know why.
However, here I am, and happy about it, too. The weather is dreary, wet and mild, but I just don't care. I seem to care very little about anything at the moment and yesterday the Best Beloved asked me if I was all right. I know that I'm not, everything is so unpredictable right now and I'm not good at dealing with that, I like certainty and I like to have a plan. Rolling with the punches is not something which I choose but that's what I have to do right now. We have no Christmas plan really. We intend to spend Christmas Day with The Teacher and her family but our recent Covid scare has highlighted that this may not happen. We still don't know whether The Mathematician will be able to make it here from Guernsey or not. We have told her that she can come with a few hours' notice and also that she mustn't feel obliged to come. At the moment we are in Tier 2 so we can't have overnight guests. That might change later this week or it might not. The restrictions will be lifted on 23rd December for four nights, there will be no flights to Birmingham so she would have to fly to Southampton or Gatwick, if there are any flights, and hire a car from there and we expect that the roads will be horrendously busy on 23rd and 27th. If she does come, hospitality venues will be closed and the only place she could meet up with her friends would be outside and it's December, not really meeting-up-outside weather. Of course we would LOVE to see her but I am being realistic, it might not be worth it for her. So we have no plan, only ifs and maybes, and I have unexpectedly reacted to this by emotionally shutting down somewhat. It must be a coping mechanism, but I am usually an emotional creature and it feels strange.
Of course, whether I can gather my family together or not, Christmas is definitely not cancelled. Yesterday afternoon I went to a lovely Christingle service on Facebook. A bag was left on my doorstep containing all that I needed: an orange with a piece of red tape wrapped around it, a candle, four cocktail sticks and a small bag of sweets. I spent the afternoon wrapping presents until 4pm when I stopped, pushed the wrapping paper and ribbon aside and watched the service at the kitchen table. Actually, "watched" is the wrong word here because what I actually did was participate. I know that about fifty bags had been given out and I like the thought of fifty people tuning in at the same time, all making our Christingles together, singing and praying, apart but together. Alone in my kitchen, I forgot myself and sang lustily so sorry, neighbours, if I disturbed you! When we sang Away In A Manger I placed my Christingle on the table among the presents, lit the candle and turned off the kitchen light. I'm always a sucker for candlelight but that was a particularly special moment and reminded me that amid all the madness of Covid and Brexit, Christmas will still be Christmas, even if it won't be the same as it usually is.
I continue to find something positive to note every day and today that is it: Christmas will still be Christmas.
Well, this post certainly didn't go in the direction I anticipated so I'll be back soon to share what I intended to share with you today.
Love, Mrs Tiggywinkle x