Sunday 22 July 2018

Ups and Downs

Hello, thanks for calling in.  You are very welcome here.  The weather news is that after that brief half hour of rain on 12th July, we have only had a few drops more.  The lawns and verges are yellow and dry, the flowers are dying and although the temperature has dropped by a few degrees, it's still hot, but we have become so used to sweltering that some people are actually feeling chilly!  I'm simply grateful. 
 
I've had a rather emotional week.  The Best Beloved and I were married on 16th July 1988, his birthday, and earlier this year I said that I wanted to have a big family party to celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary.  However, he absolutely didn't want to have a party, so we went away by ourselves to Anglesey for the weekend instead.  The weather was kind, the heat tempered by cooling sea breezes.  I discovered that I like Llanddwyn Beach more in the autumn and winter than I do in the summer (although it's always beautiful), that the deafening guillemots were still on the cliffs at South Stack, that The Sea Shanty in Trearddur Bay sells wonderful ice cream and that Llanfair-yn-y-Cwmwd Church is kept locked, which was a shame because its setting is lovely and you know how much I like to visit an old church. 






On Monday, the day of our anniversary, the Best Beloved went to work and I spent the day by myself, feeling a little forlorn.  A few cards plopped through the letterbox and some kind people sent us congratulatory messages.  I looked through our wedding albums and felt sad when I realised that twenty-one of the people smiling at me out of the photographs are dead now.  I went out to the delicatessen and bought some treats for a simple but special dinner.  The Best Beloved called in at the supermarket on his way home from work and bought some wine and some flowers and, after he had finished marking at 8pm, we celebrated, gently, over dinner.  I lamented the fact that we can't even find one day when both of our children are free to celebrate with us.  It was all very low-key.


 
In fact, I thought it was rubbish and I was disappointed.  I wish we'd had a party.  There, I've said it.  We've put up with each other for thirty years, we've cared for and supported each other, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, we love each other at least as much now as we did then and we've made a lovely family.  I think that's worth celebrating with a great big bloomin' shebang, but it's his anniversary too, and it really shouldn't be "all about me".  (But I wanted to feel like a princess!!!!!!!!!!) 
 
On Thursday, the Best Beloved finished work for the summer.  There is no more work and no more income on the horizon until 24th September.  That's more than nine weeks away.  We have savings so we won't starve and I don't really need to feel as anxious about it as I do, but I like income!
 
Friday was a wonderful day and it was all about The Mathematician: we packed her sister and Tom Kitten into the car and drove to Loughborough University for her graduation.  The sun shone, the Red Arrows flew over the campus in formation and released their red, white and blue vapours in honour of the occasion, Lord Coe (he's the Chancellor) shook my daughter's hand and congratulated her and the place was full of happy people and their proud families.  When the Deputy Vice-Chancellor asked the graduands to stand and applaud their families because we had nurtured them through their lives to this day, I fought back tears as her whole life flashed before me.  My emotions were complex: pride, happiness, relief, hope, gratitude, wistfulness and something deep that I can't quite put my finger on.  The Mathematician was SO happy and that was a beautiful and moving thing to see.


Yesterday was the first day of the school summer holidays and it usually arrives in this house with a fizz and a bang, but not this year because the Best Beloved went off to watch his second-favourite football team play a friendly match, which means that afterwards he goes to the pub with his friends for the evening before catching a train and then a bus home, by which time he has drunk a skinful and is no company at all for me.  During the football season he does this every other Saturday and I don't mind (much!) but HONESTLY, he went to his last match on 27th May, the World Cup began less than a fortnight later and lasted for four and a half weeks and now, six days later, he's starting again!  Is there no respite for the families of fans?  It doesn't feel like it.  I spent the evening feeling lonely and grumpy and I had to go and collect him from the station because he spent so long in the pub that he missed the train which would have enabled him to catch the last bus home - apparently, it wasn't his fault, but "the clock in the pub was slow".  Harrrrumph! 

So, if you have read this far, thank you for putting up with me.  I'm sorry that I'm so miserable and very poor company.  Now that I've got all of that out of my system I can start to put it behind me and move onwards and upwards, apart from the happiness of The Mathematician's graduation, that was wonderful and I want to hold it in my head for as long as possible.

See you soon, more cheerfully.
 
Love, Mrs Tiggywinkle x

 
 
 
 
 

18 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary. We've never had a big celebration for our anniversary, not even the 50th, but I understand your feelings.

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    1. Thank you Janet. Our celebrations are usually very modest but, as my mother wrote in the card she sent us, 30 years is "something to be proud of and something to treasure" and I wanted to celebrate that. x

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  2. Oh, that wedding photo is so beautiful.
    Briony
    x

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    1. Bless you Briony, that's kind. I suppose it's typical of the late 1980s: a Bo-Peep dress (there was a bit bow on my bottom, too), flowers in my hair and the men in pale grey morning suits. It's very dated now but I don't mind that, it sums up the era. x

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  3. Oh dear. Mr CK is just the same with the idea of a party and my children are all over the place too. Never mind, at least you had a wonderful, proud time at the graduation and a lovely time away. Hopefully you'll be able to have a few local days out during the Summer to make a change. You haven't changed a bit, still flowers in your hair. x

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    1. You are VERY kind, Karen! Thank you. I had the cheek to ask for a present as well - I thought that once in ten years was reasonable - but I didn't get that, either. We are taking the children on holiday with us so they will be a captive audience for my plans! x

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  4. Belated Anniversary wishes! Maybe you could manage to get everyone together at a future date. X

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    1. Thank you Jules. We are going on holiday together next month so I am planning a celebratory evening then (I just haven't told them yet!). x

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  5. Belated Anniversary wishes. I know how you feel I am a little fed up with the football too.

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    1. Thank you! Did you see Hebcelt on The One Show on BBC1 on Friday? I thought of you! x

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  6. Belated Anniversary wishes and many congratulations on thirty years and also to your daughter on her graduation you must both have been very proud of her. I can understand how you wanted to make your anniversary special - we have forty years coming up next year but will probably just have a meal with a couple of friends as we did with them when they reached forty years last year. Like you many people who were at our wedding are now no longer with us or we have lost touch with them over the years. It is always a sad/happy time when you think back. Your look lovely in both your photos, I hope you feel more positive very soon:)

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    1. Thank you Rosie, on all counts. You are very kind. We usually celebrate on our own but we had a lovely, very informal, celebration with friends five years ago for our silver anniversary. Today already feels better than yesterday. x

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  7. Happy Anniversary wishes to you. Today is our anniversary - 41 years (we raised each other, haha). Our children threw a big party for our 40th last year, with just family. It was lovely, but I'm happy to celebrate quietly, too.
    My husband isn't a sports fan, for which I'm eternally grateful!

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    1. Happy Anniversary! (You were obviously a child bride, I get that!) I remember your post last year and I remember thinking how lovely it must have been to have your family together. IT was blue, wasn't it? x

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  8. I’m empathising with you. I’m married to a not romantic too so totally understand your feelings. We all need a little appreciation from time to time. Maybe you need to surprise him next year with a special escapade. A night away, perhaps it will give him a hint! B x

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    1. That sounds like a plan, Barbara! Thank you for your empathy. I don't want to sound like an ungrateful moaner but... I asked him for a special present this year, it's ten years since I had one and I don't get them for my birthday or Christmas. He didn't bother. Serves me right for being acquisitive. x

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  9. What a lovely, chatty post! I have to laugh at bit at your husband loving sports while you do not. In my house, it is the opposite, I am the sports fan! LOL! I love the wedding photo that you shared here! So Happy Anniversary to you! Richard and I had our 35th on June 4th! Ah, the 80's...I miss them!

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    1. Thank you Kay. You've made me laugh! Belatedly, Happy Anniversary to you and Richard. I think the 80s were fab, but that's probably because they were my golden years. x

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